I’ve been away from home for a week. I left last Sunday afternoon and returned yesterday afternoon. I was in North Carolina at my sister Hollie’s house with my brother Steve and my sisters Nancy and Jaynan. It was great to be together, all my siblings with my mother, but it was a bittersweet reunion. We were there for the passing of my father.
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| I like this picture of my father. |
When I arrived there last Sunday, my niece Laura picked my up at the airport and took me straight to the nursing home where my father was. When I went into the room, Nancy said, “Dad, look who’s here, it’s Dan.” I was shocked to see my dad looking so sick and frail. He began to cry and said, “Oh! My oldest son is here!” He asked me to kiss him and I gave him a kiss on the forehead. That was the beginning of a long week sitting with him as we watched him leave mortality.
Most days we brought my mother over to sit with him for a while. After a few days we settled into a pattern. Nancy and Steve stayed the night with him, Jaynan and I spent the day with him. Sometimes we were all there. My father lingered until 2:00 early Friday morning. Nancy called the house to tell us he was gone. I have to say that it was a relief to see his suffering end. He was 92 years old and had a long list of ailments.
On Saturday morning Steve, my brother-in-law Jim, and I went to the funeral home and dressed him. I’d never dressed a dead person before. It was a somber honor to do that. My nephew Matthew (Nancy’s oldest son) and his family arrived on Saturday. It was nice to spend time with them.
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| We went for a walk in a park on Saturday afternoon. |
They held a memorial service for my father yesterday afternoon. My return flight was yesterday morning, so I was not there for that. Steve’s flight home is this afternoon. There will be a graveside service on Wednesday. Nancy and Jaynan will go home this Saturday. It will take some time for my mother to adjust to her new situation, but she lives with Hollie and her family and they will take good care of her as they have for mom and dad for years now.
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| The display at the memorial service. |
In writing this, I feel the need to pay tribute to my father, but that is a formidable undertaking. He was a remarkable man, a leader in the church, a pioneer in his profession. I know something of those aspects of his life, but mostly I know him as my father. He was a great father. He had great love for my mother. Some of his last words were expressions of his love for her. In scanning my mind for memories of him, there are too many to even attempt to share here. I remember his humor, his great devotion to us, always striving to provide for us. I remember the times as a teenager when we butted heads a bit, as most sons do with their fathers. But all my life I have never doubted for an instant his love for me.
On Saturday evening I sat with my siblings around Hollie’s kitchen table and we put together a brief eulogy to be read at his memorial service. His granddaughter, my niece Jennie, read it at the service. This is what we wrote.
"Joseph William Howe was born May 27,1930, in Galeton, Pennsylvania, to Lawrence E. Howe and Mabel J. Howe. His parents were both chiropractors who practiced in Potter County, Pennsylvania, but when the depression came they moved to New Cumberland, Pennsylvania, and opened a chiropractic office there.
He graduated with honors from New Cumberland High School in 1948. He attended Pennsylvania State University and Elizabethtown College in Pennsylvania, from 1948 to 1950. Following in his parents footsteps, he enrolled in the Palmer School of Chiropractic in Davenport, Iowa, in 1950.
He graduated from Palmer in 1952 and joined his parents’ practice in New Cumberland. His parents were unquestionably the most significant influence throughout his early life.
On May 9, 1953, Grandpa entered into his most significant partnership: he married Mary Dolores Rathfon. Anyone who knows our family understands that the family is and always has been the most important focus in their lives.
Grandpa joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in 1953 shortly after marrying my grandmother. She was already a member. He was quickly called to many leadership positions and served in the Church all of his life. He held important callings such as branch president, district president, and he served for 30 years as a temple ordinance worker in the Los Angeles, Saint Louis, and Raleigh temples.
In 1954 he was drafted into the Army and served two years in Indiana as a medical corps x-ray technician. This assignment stimulated his interest in diagnostic radiology. He completed his army service and returned to private practice in New Cumberland in 1956, the year his parents retired. He gave up his practice in 1968 and went on to do research and to teach for the rest of his career.
He was a pioneer in chiropractic radiology. His accomplishments are significant. He contributed to the training of over half of the radiologists certified with the American Chiropractic Board of Radiology and served as chairman of the departments of radiology in several Chiropractic colleges.
My grandparents have six children, 32 grandchildren, and 50 great grandchildren. They were married almost 70 years. My grandfather has a testimony of the Gospel and found joy in knowing that we are an eternal family."
For many, death, especially tragic or untimely death, is a difficult thing causing intense sorrow and grief. I do not feel that with my father’s passing. He lived a long and rich life. He was the patriarch of a great family. He helped countless people through his profession and his service in the church. It will seem strange, I admit, to think of him being gone. I’ve never known a world without him in it. But my knowledge of God’s great Plan of Happiness tempers the grief I feel. He will be missed, but I know that I will see him again. On the great Resurrection Day, he will rise with a perfect and immortal body through the atonement and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Because of covenants we’ve made and kept, we will be a family for eternity. I can think of no happier way to spend eternity than with him and all our family.
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| On the high school baseball team. |
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| The first photo of him with my mother when they were dating. |
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| On their wedding day. |
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| Drafted into the Army. |
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| In his office in New Cumberland. |
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| Doing karate with Uncle Bob - they were both black belts. |
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| Our family in 1968. |
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| At the family reunion last year. |
When I got home yesterday, Rachel and her family were here. They’d gone camping down in Elk County over the weekend. Stacey and Hannah joined them there over Friday night and Saturday and then they all came here. It was nice to come home after a week away to a house so full of energy and love. We took a walk around the yard yesterday afternoon and as we walked I noted things that need to be done. It snowed here while I was gone, but it didn’t linger long. My maple trees are completely bare now and the last drifts of leaves need to be cleared away.
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| Snow while I was away. |
The Thayns left for home a short while ago. Stacey and Hannah are at work. Miriam has been at the Foster’s for a week but should arrive home later today. So for now, I’m in a quiet, empty house. But I won’t be here for long. As soon as the temperature rises above 50°, I’ll be out in the fading glory of a sunny late autumn day working and pondering on life and death and the approach of winter and the spring that will follow.
